Leaving Microsoft & New Beginnings
Recently, I’ve been reading on Taoism a bit. I guess it’s more so to re-affirm my decisions and thoughts. To give myself permission to follow my intuition, so-to-speak. Over the last few years I’ve worked at Microsoft, there’s been major ups and downs. The first two years or so were a lot of fun—they were exactly what I expected working at a software company to be. Then the last two or three years it has been otherwise. I’ve been quite bored, un-inspired, and I feel like I’ve lost my love and spark of software.
Over these years, I’ve resigned many times. Of those 10+ times, my manager and friend convinced me to stay. But one of those times I slipped through and left. It was at this time that I didn’t realize how poor the job market was. It wasn’t until 6+ months that I began to lose hope towards earning another software position. It was at this time that my friend helped me out and slid me into a position back here at Microsoft. Now it’s been about 9 months and the same problem has arisen and I’m leaving again. This time, likely for good.
The last few years I’ve felt much like I’m “waiting.” Waiting to have enough money and then I’ll do something fulfilling. It’s been a rather dull experience. Most of my life I’ve really enjoyed my work, but once this amount of money came into play, I shifted towards prioritizing money over work fulfillment. I do realize that I’ve been lucky to have both most of my life. But over the last few years, I’ve had one.
For most, this is not a problem. Many people would be okay with making a ton of money and just sliding by. But, I guess I want more from myself and to do more. Plus, our life is filled with maybe 50 years of work. Should I not be doing things that fulfill me and excite me more often? Work takes up most of our life and I’m not really interested in some side hobbies that don’t really go anywhere or have any impact.
It’s through this lens that I’ve realized that most of what we do, although enjoyable, has no influence on the outcomes of our lives. For me, I prefer to align my interests with things the world values so I can have fulfilling work that I enjoy and also a good living. So, when it comes to hobbies, I absolutely love learning, but I always push to direct the things I make to further impact than just self fulfillment. I guess this is what I see as my role: doing things I love to make other’s lives better. Money is an indicator of how well we’re doing that—although not always of course.
This leaves me walking on water while I’m not Jesus. I’m not sure what I’ll do from here or which direction I’ll go, but I do know this: like a agile cat, I’ll land on my feet once again. I’ll figure out how to make money in a fulfilling way or make products or whatever it takes. But, the path to a fulfilling life tends to not stem from the safety of comfort. But from risk, inspiration and alignment. This we must believe.